why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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