I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
