So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
