Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
