this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
