remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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