the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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