Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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