he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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