Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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