I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize