you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
