i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
