3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
