I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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