This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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