she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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