would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
