Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
