Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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