why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
