Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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