Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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