Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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