Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
