I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i dont even know how to be here
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
