Old men and throwing up are my life now.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
