If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
