I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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