I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
