he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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