There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
