i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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