you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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