I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
