She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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