The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
