you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
