Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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