people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
