Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
