I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
