It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize