just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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