OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
