the new term for farting is butt boxing.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
