I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The uberlube is also flammable
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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