i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
