He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
