Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
