Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
