And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
