what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want her autograph on my taint
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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