Im at strip club and am horny
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
