I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
