So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
