Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
