How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
