just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
