question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
