Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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