She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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