Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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